Tant Mieux
it's not much, but this is what i've been up to!
i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires
why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense
plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
--Don Marquis
OMG IF ONLY I HAD ANY :( asldfjawlerwaersafd
hello friends! i was cleaning my room and came across the sketchbook i used during the school year.
even though my life feels just about perfect right now, it feels strangely...... empty. something definitely feels missing; my life feels rather idle and... purposeless? i just can't stand being happy and calm and relaxed all the time; it bothers me! it's like the whole time i'm enjoying myself there's a little voice in the back of my head like "... you're wasting your time." deep down i want a life requiring suffering, hardship, and difficulty; right now it's just too easy. i want to suffer through hard work and then come through accomplishing something... i think that's what my four years of high school were supposed to be, eh?
i wonder if i'm masochistic or something because, to a degree, i really do enjoy suffering. this senior year i haven't really suffered for anything... i remember last year for AP Biology i once studied 4 hours early into the morning for a test because it was so difficult... but getting a great score on it was so fulfilling. nowadays my attention span seems to only last an hour at most hahaha.
i need a job this summer. i want to get a really hard job, like waittressing or something... and i want to work on a ton of commissions and stuff! it's time to get back into the groove after my senior slump. i hope i follow this through and have a productive summer!
"A wise youth works hard all summer; a youth who sleeps away the hour of opportunity brings shame." Proverbs 10:5.
- Mood:determined
I can't believe I'm 18 and still uncomfortable with the thought of not having everyone like me. I've always done everything to try and please everyone, try and attain their approval and affection. Anything else makes me uncomfortable. About time I grow up and realize that I'm myself and I like myself and I don't care what anyone else thinks; all the haters to the left.
awesome.
- Mood:eh, i saw it coming
BRAIN CANNOT COMPREHEND THAT MALES LIKE E
jk jk; i actually loathe stephanie meyer's writing style (reminiscent of fanfiction.net....) and her 0.5 dimensional characters and horrible pacing and sucky plot ideas and stuff.
BUT EDWARDDDDDDDDDD CULLLEEENNNNNNNN Y U N
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moonlightboys</lj>!basics
○ Name? Annie
○ Height? 5'5"? 5'6"?
○ Age? 18 on November 20th
○ Tomboy or Girly Girl? Girlyyy.
describe
○ Describe your beauty routine? Hmmm... Neutrogena lotion/sunscreen, Aloe BB Cream or Neutrogena foundation, and Physician's Formula Glowing blush
○ Describe your hair? I don't do anything to it except blow dry! It's straight and doesn't hold a curl/wave/ANYTHING :(
○ Describe your personal style? CHEAP hahaha. no seriously. I buy cheap trendy stuff, though I don't mind splurging for quality basics. I dress depending on how I feel either the night before or the morning of
do you...
○ Like metrosexual boys? I like boys with some sort of style, but I'm not particular.
○ Like accessories? I alllwwaayyss have some piece of jewelry!
○ Like high heels? I will love them once I learn how to walk in them :)
○ Like matchy matchy, or mix and match? Be original, quirky, unique!
○ Spend a lot of money on beauty products in general? Not at all :/ I clip coupons and buy the stuff from drugstores haha.
○ Shop online for clothes? YES.
○ Steal style ideas from friends? Mmhmm
favorite...?
○ Article of clothing in your closet? IRENE, YOU HAVE A MIU MIU BAG??? AHH
○ Makeup line? I don't really wear makeup :/
○ Skincare line? Neutrogena? No preference really haha
○ Perfume? Ralph Lauren Romance, Daisy by MJ.
○ Colors to wear? Black is classic... and then every other color possible :)
what stuff
○ What is a trend you dislike the most? Trends are trends... just for fun. So I don't take them that seriously haha
○ What is your fashion philosophy? Fit, color, proportion.
○ What kind of shoes do you like? Flats and heels.
○ What is your biggest fashion problem? My fatness prevents me from pulling off a lot of stuff I wish I could!
○ What old trends do you think should come back? SHOULDERPADS. just kidding.
○ What one piece are you dying to add to your wardrobe? Black jeans.
misc.
○ How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 10-15 minutes.
○ Ever been to a fashion show? Yes!
○ Would you ever go out in public without makeup? Yes...
○ Who do you think has great style? All those girls on Face Hunter and the Sartorialist, and WIWT, etc etc. Those girls who know what they like and know how to execute it.
○ If you had a fashion budget of 1 million dollars, where would you shop, and why? LOL. Same places. hahaha. Quantity > quality for me right now ;D But I'd probably splurge a lot more on stuff I'd wear forever.
○ Is there anything you absolutely CAN'T wear? FREAKING STILETTOS. I cannot wear them without wobbling and tripping and falling on my face.
○ If you had to pick one designer to wear for the rest of your life, who would it be, and why? GAH don't ask me this!
EDIT: LOL this did not happen to me, thank goodness. Just a story that freaked me out while I was preppin for college ahaha
( THE WORST COLLEGE INTERVIEW EVER. )
I hate writing essays, especially this college essay. I'm asking to be made vulnerable, letting them see that little part of me I don't let anyone else see just so I can get into some institution with will charge me $50,000 a year to let me go.
which also means not being able to finish commissions. I think it's been a month...!
what is the longest amountof time you've ever spent on a commission? i just need some comforting lol because i feel very guilty atm ;__;
- Mood:asldkfjewl
I got a new computer! Yayyy. The old one was sooooooo slow and randomly froze all the time (especially when I was drawing...)
I also started interning at a Cancer Research Lab! It's very interesting, except most of the things are over my head. Half the time I follow a lab tech around to see what they do, and the other half of the time I have to get on google and research what they're actually doing. I understand the concept of what they're doing, but when it comes to, like, measuring stuff and centrifuging stuff and waiting for results... so boring and tedious.
But I've missed today and yesterday because I came down with a horrible case of the flu @_@ I knew I should have gotten that vaccine back in November/December but I was too afraid of needles, and now it comes and gets me in July.
So these last 2 days have been me... on onemanga.com... reading shoujo manga....!!! and I watched Zettai Kareshi T_T argh I'm so screwed...! But it's so cute that I can't resist asdfakjewrlasdf. If you have a favorite shoujo manga PLEEAASSEE tell me because I actually really like reading them OTL Last ones I read were Koukou Debut, B.O.D.Y., and Kaichou wa Maid-sama. Ahh I love the ones with strong, unique female leads *A* The ones with girly Mary Sues make me want to shoot myself.
Anyway, that's all that's happening in my life. I need to start doing college applications, but I would much rather be lying in bed reading shojo ahaha... =w=
- Mood:sick
